im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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