don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
