Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
