well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
