I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's like heaven, but drunker
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
