Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
