For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
