I wanna passion pit in your ass
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
