cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
