Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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