We won't sleep together?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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