So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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