Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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