New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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