It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
