Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
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