Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
