hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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