so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize