someone threw a dead crab at me
he shaved USA in his pubs
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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