is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
BRING THE BAGELS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
