Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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