i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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