Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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