i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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