dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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