You can't motorboat a personality
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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