So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
