grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
