My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
