hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
