Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
