Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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