No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
