my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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