Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
