shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
