ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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