I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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