He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
