yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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