the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
