Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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