so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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