It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
