Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
