I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
