So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
