I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
