Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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