the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
