She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
