My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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