my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
