My friends, they love my intelligence
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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