I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
