I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
