how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
