it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
handjob tips. give me some.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
