Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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