I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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