why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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