oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
