Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
