..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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