Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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