i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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