Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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