I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
