ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
