its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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